Friday, June 25, 2010

Caning the bottom

**By popular request, the original post has been edited**

In some countries, I could be arrested for using this :
Papa did it!!!

Because he always laughs that "Mama can not painful".

His 'crime'???

I found some graffiti on Joy's Dora backpack and Joe was holding the exact same coloured colour pencils. I asked him if he did it and he said "yes". He couldn't tell me why.

And he knows very well he's only supposed to draw on paper.

We've gone through this before with both kids when Joy drew on my wall, my chairs and my bedsheet.

Can you draw on my wall? No!
Can you draw on my bed? No!
Can you draw on my table? No!
Can you draw on my chair? No!
Can you draw on your clothes? No!
Can you draw on my floor? No!
Can you draw on your face? No!

What will happen if you do that?

Joy : piak.

Piak where?

Joy : buttock.

And that's what Joe got.

** Incidentally, Pastor Daniel mentioned about using the rod of correction, during his sermon this weekend.

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24

Canes are easily available at the PJ Old Town sundry shops for RM0.50 - RM3.50 each depending on size.


  1. You can put music to it and have them sing it. You can end it with something like this: "No, no, no, no. Where can I draw then? On drawing books, on anything Mummy says can."

  2. which is more humiliating?
    the caning or that u actually took a picture of his mark????

  3. he didn't cry.

    and he was totally alright with me taking the photo. I purposely didn't take the butt crack so unless I tell you it's his butt, you prob wouldn't know just from looking at the pic.

    I should add that I very rarely have to use the cane. Only when they deliberately disobey.

  4. seems like he got a whole lot of attention with the 'artwork' on his sister's bag.

  5. it doesnt look like a butt though....
    poor Joe...
    shud i do the same to my notti Jo too when she misbehaves? :((

  6. well if it was attention he was seeking, (or maybe just testing our reactions...??) he certainly got it.

    YenMei - that's why lor I purposely take without taking the butt crack so can't tell it's the butt.

  7. i believe the image is a close-up, thus magnified. If so, the cane welt is somewhat less serious than it appears. Therefore, IMHO, less physical harm than a stinging slap on the face. Punishment enough for the 'crime' though.

    However, humiliation-wise, I don't believe a kid his age properly understands yet, that the image is public, that is, for all the world (figuratively speaking) to see, i.e. not just mama, papa, nana and sister, but INCLUDES relatives near and far, AND friends AND complete strangers.

    Morever, whether can see butt crack or not, the words accompanying the image are explicit, and if he really totally understood the implications of the publicness of the image together with the story, HE CERTAINLY KNOWS the world saw or can see his caned butt. Consequently, harm or not, will depend on how sensitive a child he is.

  8. Thank you Mr/Miss Anonymous for your very lengthy comment.

    I always believe that if you have something worth saying, then say it without hiding your identity.

    Anyway, I don't see why it's humiliating to have the world know you've been caned. I got my fair share of caning as I was growing up. And I turned out alright.

    Better I cane him than let him be a rotten spoilt brat like those you see throwing themselves on the floor (at malls), shrieking, screaming and terrorizing their parents when they don't get their way

  9. Oh and for everybody's information, the welt disappeared 10minutes after I took the picture so I'm glad I took it.

  10. seriously buffafly,
    would it change the meaning of my comment if I posted with a name john or mary or kimhuat or siva or rosman or meiling?
    Also, does my comment somehow judge the punishment or your decision to post to be conclusively right or wrong?
    Nay, it was just a POV plus a point for consideration on the publicness.
    btw, if you don't like anon comments you could remove the option altogether. Note please, maam, it's 'could, not 'should'.

  11. It's not your name that matters. But it shows that you want to hide your identity. Why?

    Being quite a blog-idiot, I did not realize I could disallow anonymous comments. Thank you for pointing it out.

  12. Anon has raised up a good point here for all of us to ponder upon.

    btw, i feel that anon comments are part & parcel of blogging & should not be shunned... unless those that contain degrading remarks or offensive content.

    oh.... about the disabling anon blog comments, do you know you can also opt to keep your blog private by only allowing access to it to selected people?

  13. anon = hide identity ... in the context of a public platform (blogs), a non sequitur - your academic hubs might agree, no? further and otoh, there is no reasoning with emotion.

  14. I have never caned my children, and will never do so.

  15. Pa/Roland Chan27 June, 2010 18:34

    Personally, I don't care if a person chose to remain anonymous. I have a choice to ignore or to respond to his/her comment. If the comment is worth responding to I will respond without bothering about who made it. Of course if I know the identity of the person, I have a friend there. It is difficult to be a friend to someone whose identity you do not know. But I suppose on the blogs, there's no need to get too friendly, you can remain anonymous and detached. No problem, but I don't mind revealing my identity.

  16. Buffafly said: "Anyway, I don't see why it's humiliating to have the world know you've been caned. I got my fair share of caning as I was growing up. And I turned out alright."

    But do you have pictures of you being caned preserved in your family albums for friends & relatives to see? :)

    Also IMHO, publishing images of your son's caning online is somewhat akin to a public caning.

  17. I think I know my grandson enough, and, if you were to ask Joseph now, he will probably say, "what canning, what picture?" He is confident and he knows for a fact that Mummy will never humiliate him.

  18. Buffafly,
    If it's any comfort for the annoyance I caused by my comments, please let me say that I am personally not anti-corporal punishment per se. My decision would however be very very considered as to justification, impact and effect. Risk vs benefit. I'm sure you apply the same decision-making process too. What - for me anyway - overrides all potential 'benefits' is the potential effect on the dignity of the child. That was the perspective I wanted to share with you.

    ... while I'm at this, might as well clarify that my choice for anonymity here is strictly because, as a discussion/response to the issues associated with your post, I believe my real identity is quite irrelevant. The merits (or non-merits) of my comment are what's relevant, since I'm neither being irrational, nor deliberately accusatory, much less abusive. A critical-rational discussion if you like.

    Oh, and my apologies for being so verbose.

  19. Dear Anonymous,

    No worries. Apology accepted :-)

    I'm just amused that this post about caning has by far drawn more comments than any other post on this blog. It must be that most people have a very strong stand on this. Either you approve of it or you don't.

    If you smuggle drugs, you get hanged. If you commit a crime, you face the punishment.

    So if I have set the boundaries for my child and made it known and clear to him, and he deliberately chooses to defy me, that is disobedience.

    I keep me word to him and he gets the cane...because I love him.

    I had a chat with Joe yesterday and I asked him if he was angry at me for caning him. He said, "It's ok. I know you don't like to cane me".

  20. Pris, can when needed. I do that also ... at one point, very frequent with my older child, whom everyone say is such an obedient and easy-to-handle child. And yes, boundaries are good. Discipline must be enforced.