Thursday, May 06, 2010

tips from The Parenting Book

I picked up this book while browsing at The Burning Bush 2 weeks ago.

Since the kids keep me busy, I read bit by bit like when I'm waiting in queue to fetch Joe.

I'm still at Chapter 1 and yesterday, I felt like I failed to put into practice what I had just read.

We visited Pastor Nancy in the evening and the boys had a good time trying to catch some tilapia from the pond in the garden. It wasn't easy because the pond is about 4-5ft deep and the long-poled net was really heavy.

Even the mighty big and strong Uncle Nat was exhausted while Daalin managed to catch 2 fishes. Obviously Joseph couldn't catch any.

As I was washing him up at home and changing him into his pyjamas, he had this long pouty face and he was sobbing away. I asked him what the matter was and he said that he was really sad because he couldn't catch any fish.

At that moment, I recalled what I had read earlier in the day and thought of just being there for him. Instead, the blabbermouth in me tried reasoning with the sad little boy, explaining how deep the pond is and how heavy the net is.

Though he slept well through the night, I know went to bed with a heavy heart.

This morning, he looked much happier and I had a chat with him again about how he felt. After some hugs and kisses, I suggested 2 options :

1. Wait till he's older, taller, stronger to catch the fishes.
2. Go some place with shallower waters to catch smaller fishes.

He was quite optimistic with the second option. And he even suggested we get an aquarium to put the fishes in.

I'm just glad I can talk to him so reasonably.

Next time when he's upset, I'll try to remember to keep my mouth shut and just be there for him.


  1. yes, just give him a long, big hug.
    sounds like a good book.

  2. Not all children Joe's age can identify their emotions. Joe can identify his emotions and why he's feeling them: sad; because he couldn't catch any fish.
    keep listening to him and VALIDATE his feelings. it's alright to be sad. and it's ok to cry when you're sad.

  3. not all children Joe's age can identify with their emotions.
    Joe could identify what he was feeling and why: sad; BECAUSE he couldn't catch any fish.
    keep listening to him and validate his emotions. it's OK to be sad and it's OK to cry when you're sad.

  4. yes yes. I know it's ok. I didn't tell him to NOT cry or stop crying. Anyway, he wasn't wailing and throwing a tantrum. He was sobbing like his pet died.

  5. thanks for sharing the tip, Lah! i think that's a very useful tip. i learnt something new about parenting. will try my very best to put that into practice...
    many times i find myself saying a lot of things to comfort rachel when she's upset. next time, i shall try my best to keep quiet and just be there for her.