QUANTITY AND QUALITY BOTH VITAL WHEN SPENDING TIME WITH KIDS
QUESTION: I have very little time to spend with my children these days, but I make sure the hours we do get to spend together are meaningful. Do you agree that the quality of time you are with your kids is more important than the quantity?
DR. JAMES DOBSON: I'm afraid the logic of that concept is flawed to me. The question is, why do we have to choose between the virtues of quantity vs. quality? We won't accept that forced choice in any other area of our lives. So why is it only relevant to our children?
Let me illustrate my point. Let's suppose you've looked forward all day to eating at one of the finest restaurants in town. The waiter brings you a menu and you order the most expensive steak in the house. But when the meal arrives, you see a tiny piece of meat about 1 inch square in the center of the plate. When you complain about the size of the steak, the waiter says: "Sir, I recognize that the portion is small, but that's the finest corn-fed beef money can buy. You'll never find a better bite of meat than we've served you tonight. As to the portion, I hope you understand that it's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality that counts."
You would object, and for good reason. Why? Because both quality and quantity are important in many areas of our lives, including how we relate to children. They need our time and the best we have to give them.
My concern is that the quantity vs. quality argument might be a poorly disguised rationalization for giving our children neither.
QUESTION: I have very little time to spend with my children these days, but I make sure the hours we do get to spend together are meaningful. Do you agree that the quality of time you are with your kids is more important than the quantity?
DR. JAMES DOBSON: I'm afraid the logic of that concept is flawed to me. The question is, why do we have to choose between the virtues of quantity vs. quality? We won't accept that forced choice in any other area of our lives. So why is it only relevant to our children?
Let me illustrate my point. Let's suppose you've looked forward all day to eating at one of the finest restaurants in town. The waiter brings you a menu and you order the most expensive steak in the house. But when the meal arrives, you see a tiny piece of meat about 1 inch square in the center of the plate. When you complain about the size of the steak, the waiter says: "Sir, I recognize that the portion is small, but that's the finest corn-fed beef money can buy. You'll never find a better bite of meat than we've served you tonight. As to the portion, I hope you understand that it's not the quantity that matters, it's the quality that counts."
You would object, and for good reason. Why? Because both quality and quantity are important in many areas of our lives, including how we relate to children. They need our time and the best we have to give them.
My concern is that the quantity vs. quality argument might be a poorly disguised rationalization for giving our children neither.
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I suppose most people find it tough. With the increasing cost of living (no thanks to a corrupted government), most families have both father and mother working.
It's a choice. There's always a choice.
I know a friend who gave up her job to raise her children. Her husband doesn't earn big bucks. But they get by. With overseas holidays too.
Right now, I'm thankful that my mother takes such excellent care of my children during the 3 days a week when I work. I'm not that absolutely in love with my work. But it does help to preserve my sanity to get out of the house a bit. It's a love-hate thing. When the kids get too much, I want to get out. But when I'm out, I can't wait to get home to be with them.
Whatever the case, I'm in full agreement with Dr Dobson that quality does not compensate the lack of quantity.
why so many pics of yucky toe and no picture of cute kids?
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