Wednesday, August 26, 2009

two, three or more?

I have been thinking : How many children should we have?

In this day and age, most people would agree that it is appropriate to 'close shop' since we already have a boy and a girl.
I now have, in many people's opinion, a perfect family. And I'm absolutely thankful for that!

Edwin has been checking out MPVs. He wants at least one more child. Me? I'm not sure.

Looking at my 2 delightful kids, more children = more fun!

I don't mind pregnancy and childbirth. But it's the first 6 months that terrifies me. I get so stressed out with night feeds, low milk supply and endless bouts of crying.

Babies = breastfeeding. But I have a love-hate relatonship with breastfeeding. From experience with Joseph and Joy-Anne, my babies take forever to feed. I would start feeding at 8am and finish at 9am. Then the next feed starts at 10am and finishes at 11am. This goes on all day! I felt like a full-time cow! If not for my mother's help, nothing else in the house would get done. In spite of how troublesome and inconvenient it seems, I cannot bring myself to not breastfeed simply because it's the right thing to do.

So we've been talking to friends who have more children.

The Godly words of wisdom they impart is to have more children. God's first command (even before the 10Commandments and way before the Great Commission) is to "be fruitful and multiply".

I googled "How many children should I have?" and got some interesting results...

Sarah-Kate Templeton, Health Editor for TimesOnline says, "COUPLES who have more than two children are being “irresponsible” by creating an unbearable burden on the environment".

In his research, sociology professor Hans-Peter Kohler of the University of Pennsylvania, found that people with children are, in fact, happier than those without children.

In comparing identical twins, Kohler found that mothers with one child are about 20 percent happier than their childless counterparts; Interestingly, second and third children don't add to parents' happiness at all. In fact, these additional children seem to make mothers less happy than mothers with only one child—though still happier than women with no children.

With more children, there is the worry of how we would raise them, educate them and care for them? I've only got a pair of hands (and so does every other mother). But as Foong Lin, Lily and Jean puts it.... it's a journey of faith.

Now that I'm a parent, I look at my parents and my in-laws and I wonder how they raised their children. My family of 3 siblings survived on my father's lone pastor's salary. Surely all the holidays, piano lessons, violin lessons and everything else are by God's providence. My in-laws gave all 3 of their children each an overseas university education on teacher's salaries. And we all turned out just fine.

Of course, I have no intention of emulating Nadya Suleman - the single mother of 14 children (with no stable income). Neither will I emulate my maternal grandmother who had 10 children.

I don't want to be irresponsible. But maybe, just God's perfect timing.... we will have more.


  1. you don't need 3 or more kids to 'qualify' for the MPV - so get that first!

  2. May God bless you with the number of children he has already planned for you.

  3. Mummy contributed to Pa's income by babysitting, teaching kindergarten and direct selling.

  4. ha ha....i can concer with you. Thinking of weaning Mabel off already.

  5. oh i definitely agree with you on the part regarding the first 6 months & the breastfeeding part. i too have a love-hate rship with breastfeeding. sigh..

    well, pray about it lor. If He blesses you with another child, He will provide. :) God's providence is abundant....

  6. wah I didn't anticipate so many comments in so short a time.

    hw - need to justify the MPV mah... otherwise just make do first.

  7. simple maths...

    1. husband & wife - 2 pax
    2. Joe & Joy - 2 pax
    3. parents or inlaws or ah ku + kim kim or yeeyee + yeeteow - 2 pax
    that makes 6 pax! with any combination of #3

    Can't fit all into a 5 seater car, so u end up driving 2 cars to move 6 people.

    Therefore u need an MPV! hehehehehe!

  8. Me having only one already considering getting an MPV. My hubby's current car boot cannot it 2 strollers when the second one coming. So, he has been "pushed" by me to choose ONLY car with BIGGER boot. So, with you having 2 kids now, time to change (not just considering) :p

  9. The finance minister says :
    no no.3 = no MPV
    good thing my 2 strollers are quite compact so can comfortably fit both in the booth and still got space for luggage.

    Anyway, my parents never had MPV and neither did my in-laws so we should be able to get by.

    And I know of friends like the Chan family in Alor Star - 4 kids and no MPV. Thank God they're all skinny :-)

  10. thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! =)

    The Wife and i are sort-of trying for our first kid. it seems harder than i thought! =P

  11. heheh, this is an interesting discussion. I saw this video a couple of months back...thought it gave quite an interesting view about numbers of children. Check it out =)

  12. actually i really think this is a non issue. if one loves children, if one is financially sound and there is good help or one is capable to care for more children, then jst go ahead. should there be a research or theory?

    If you want a vote, yes... by all means, go forth and multiply!!!

  13. My major complaint about bf is the endless rounds of pumping and sterilising. Sigh! Will have to dig out my pump again soon.