school blues

I'm sitting here in the concourse of the adjacent block to Joe's school. There's free wi-fi to keep me occupied.

Today is the first day that parents are no longer allowed to be in school. I dropped him at the door, said goodbye and he went in with a teacher. I decided to just wait around outside for a while.

Five minutes later, the teacher came out to say Joe vomitted. It was a huge mess. Vomit on himself, the floor, on the teacher, in the bathroom. So I went in, changed him and comforted him. Then the teacher took him for a walk and tried to comfort him.

I told him I would see him later and made my exit. From behind the wall and through the windows, I peeped and saw him sobbing quite a lot.

It's heart-wrenching to see my baby cry. Ok so he's no longer a baby. But he'll always be my baby. I think this is as hard for me as it is for him. But I know he's got to get through it sooner or later. If we wait another year to send him to school, this same thing will happen next year. And the next. And even in primary school.

Yesterday he said he cried "Just a little bit". And when I asked him why he cried, he said "because I miss my mama and my papa". How could my heart not break with words so sweet.

I hope tomorrow will be better.
And once he's settled, I won't have to neglect my other baby every morning.