express service

I thought my driving license would expire next week. Not to be a last-minute person, I made a note to have it renewed today. To my horror, it expired yesterday!

Ahh...the convenience of working in Midvalley Megamal. I stroll down to the post office and take a number. All of merely five minutes later, I'm out. It was that fast. And I got service with a smile too.

Maybe civil servants do deserve the raise they are getting. If I hadn't opted to leave the civil service, I would be getting about RM500 more each month which works out to roughly what I'm getting now in private practice. Nevertheless, I'm enjoying my 3-day work week (I don't think it can even be called a week!) and wouldn't have it any other way. Every weekend is a long weekend for me. Blissful time spent with my darling Joseph.

my mother's day gift

On Sunday morning, Joe woke up with a very happy smile on his face. Nana came into the room and Joe gave her a card and a hug. Then, Joe's father gave him something tied in a red ribbon and asked him to give to mama (that's me!). I untied the ribbon and opened the A4 paper to find this :

Joe's dad wrote this poem. I'm so impressed. He said he stressed over it for 2 weeks! I think it's better than flowers or dinner. I'm gonna print it out as a 8R photo and frame it up.

Mothers - celebrated!

Mother's Day is just around the corner. 3 days away to be exact! Businesses everywhere are enticing shoppers to part with their hard-earned money for flowers, soft toys, chocolates, massage chairs, spa treatments, expensive buffets and so on, as tokens of appreciation for mothers. Even though I'm not one to toe the line, (I like to beat the norm. As it is, I have yet to watch any of the Lord of the Rings trilogy or Harry Porter and have no intentions of doing so.) it's difficult to not do anything, lest my mom feels left out.

tulips are being sold for RM4.90 a stalk at Jusco

So I made her a card. For some reason, she's very sentimental about self-made cards. She's still keeping cards that I made in my teenage years. I'll get Joe to give her the card on Sunday.

I myself qualified to celebrate Mother's Day 2 years ago. This will be my 3rd Mother's day. The first one in 2005 was uneventful as I was still stuck at home in confinement, eating papaya soup and ginger chicken. The 2nd one last year, Joe was not yet talking.

This year however, Joseph can now say "Happy Mother's Day" and "Mummy, I love you." Those words are more rewarding than any gift money can buy.

Joe can recognize sunflowers

Mother's Day gifts and treats are so overated these days. I'm so lucky to get my gifts and treats on a regular basis in the form of flowers that Joe picks from the garden, and the cute stuff that Joe does and say to make me laugh. I know I am so blessed.

This mother's day, I also think of the many women out there who want to be mothers but are unable to have children of their own. Having experienced a miscarriage myself, I understand the longing and loss that others suffer.

Children are indeed gifts from God.

Motherhood is a privilege.

Happy Mother's Day, mummy.

Thank you for all that you do.

Thank you for loving Joe so much.

We love you lots!

Months and Birthdays

Joe recently learned the months of the year i.e. January to December using a Veggietales book that Joe's yee yee bought.

We also taught him whose birthdays are in which months. So when we flip open and point to January, Joe will say, "Mama birthday. And Kong kong birthday". So our conversation goes like this...

me : January...

Joe : Mama birthday. And kong kong birthday.

me : February, March...

Joe : Nana birthday.

me : April...

Joe : Jojo birthday.

me : May

Joe : May (he repeats after me)

me : June

Joe : June (parrot again)

me : July

Joe : got fireworks (because the picture shows fireworks - Americans celebrate Independence Day in July)

me : August, September...

Joe : Ah Ku birthday.

me : October, November...

Joe : Papa birthday.

me : December (he always gets more excited when it comes to December)

Joe : Yee yee birthday (always says it smiling)

Then yesterday, he pointed to the pumpkin on the December page and said, "neh....Yee yee this one"

roses for mummy

Roses arrived from USA (more like money paid in USA) from Rebecca for mummy in conjunction with Mother's Day this Sunday.
I'm pretty sure mummy was pleasantly surprised even though she always says that flowers die, such a waste of money, bla bla blah...

palm tree spoil

Almost everyday, we take Joe downstairs for some fresh air. He loves the outdoors (I should move to Australia!). Every so often, he will take his sandals and tell us "go out see bamboo tree".
The benefits of going outdoors are numerous.

Firstly, he loves the playground. (Which kid doesn't?) All that climbing up and down keeps him fit and tires him out which makes our lives so much easier when it comes to bedtime.

Secondly, it's educational. From our apartment, he can see a big lot of KL city, the roads below as well as the dusty construction site. Joe loves looking at the cranes, cement mixer, lorries, tractors, train (LRT), buses, taxis and identifying each one. He can say that tractors "dig soil". He can even point out the Telekom Tower. Joe's dad also pointed the reservoir out to him and taught him that the reservoir "got so much water!"

Not forgetting the nature around us, Joe learns about the various kinds of plants. Thus far, he's learnt to identify various plants such as bamboo tree, coconut tree, palm tree, money plant, 'christmas' tree, and any other tree that we don't know is simply called "big tree".

One day, he looked at this palm tree that has lost most of its branches.

He pointed at it and said "palm tree spoil. Jesus fix."

Then I ask him, "where is Jesus?". He pats his stomach with both hands and says, "in my heart".

Joe's new toys

My not-very-big apartment is getting increasingly cluttered with Joe's toys. For his 2nd birthday, my mum decided to get him a car. Yes, a car! Just like Noddy's car she says. So we went shopping and found this at Carrefour Midvalley for RM66.70.He loves it so much. Although it is a pedal car, Joe doesn't quite know how to use the pedals yet. So it's still foot-powered. I took off the ugly stickers that came with the car and decorated it with Joe's favourite Cars stickers. So now he's got Lightning McQueen, Sally, Mater and Luigi on his new red car.

Yesterday, we got him another 2 new toys. A bouncing hop-hop ball for RM19.90 and a hop-hop pony for RM59.90, both from ToysRus.

The ball is too big for him right now. Our neighbour's kid who is 5 years old enjoys it much more. But Joe is happy on the little pony. I hope all that jumping will make him more tired so that it makes my life easier come bedtime.

two years of love, life and laughter

Joe turned 2 on Saturday 14th April 2007. I reflected and wrote a 'letter' to him in the journal that I've been keeping since the day I found myself pregnant with him, way back in August 2004. It has been 2 wonderful years filled with lots of laughter and smiles, tears and fears, pee, poo and puke as well. When I look at how he's grown and all the things he has learnt, I feel so grateful to God for giving me this privilege of experiencing motherhood. I think of all the many women who yearn for a child but are barren and I'm so thankful.

Every birthday should be celebrated. Life is to be celebrated. Joe got 3 cakes in all this year. We had another one at cell group on Friday 13th, but no pictures coz the camera battery kaput-ed.

On Sunday 15th April, my in-laws drove up from Seremban for dinner, and to celebrate Joe's birthday. He's one blessed boy! We got him this cake, made by a friend who's business, Cakes for Kicks is run from home. It cost RM70 and I got to eat the extra side cut-outs too.

Joe didn't care about the shape or the deco or the taste of the cake. He was just eager to light and blow the candles.
Joe is at an age where he's like a sponge. And a parrot. He learns everything we teach and says it back to us. My mother taught him this on Monday night...

mummy : Can a rocking chair take you to heaven?

Joe : Cannottttt

mummy : Can a rocket take you to heaven?

Joe : cannottttt

mummy : Can Barney take you to heaven?

Joe : cannotttttttt

mummy : Who can take you to heaven?

Joe : Jesussssss!!!!

Ahh....I love this boy!

fun family holidays

My in-law side of the family...the Tans have in the last couple of years got into a tradition of having a annual family holiday. It all started in 2004. We booked a 5-bedroom bungalow with private pool at A'Famosa Resort in Alor Gajah.

In November 2005, we spent 3 lovely days at the OMF Bungalow in Cameron Highlands. I believe this was by far the best holiday. We loved it so much we want to go there again this year. Unfortunately, Irene the caretaker will be leaving the bungalow and she's not sure if there'll be a replacement. Hence, no more bookings at OMF Bungalow...boo hoo hoo!

Why do we love that place so much? First of all, the weather is just lovely. Though Cameron Highlands is no longer as cold as in previous years, it's still nice to get away from the heat and smog, hustle and bustle of the city.

OMF Bungalow is this lovely old bungalow in Brinchang with a nice big compound filled with flowers and bugs, on a mountain top so you get a lovely view.

Here's a view of the bungalow from one upstairs room.

Sean and Brandon checking out the flowers.

We stayed in huge nicely furnished rooms, all with attached bathrooms and hot showers of course. The rooms were tidied up every morning, beds were made and our dirty clothes were collected for laundry. We got back our clothes - smelling fresh and warm in th afternoon of the same day.

There was a cosy den full of children's books and toys and also a tv, vcd/dvd player and Astro to keep the adults entertained.

See how cosy all of us are....watching "Madagascar" - the hit movie at that time.

When it was drizzling outside, we played monopoly inside. The boys were crazy over the game at that time.

Meals were simply delicious. At breakfast, the maids came round to ask how we would like our eggs - scrambled? omellete? sunny side up? Lunch and dinner was either chinese style rice and dishes or a western style 3-course meal. Apart from that, we could at anytime (even at 3am, if you wish) help ourselves to the homemade cookies and self-serviced tea/coffee/milo/horlicks. I was particularly in love with the oatmeal cookies and chocolate chip cookies.

Besides eating, there was plenty to do at the bungalow. We were happy to just stroll in the garden.

Brandon enjoyed talking to the dalmation.

There was a living room with piano and we enjoyed singing. Here's Ah Mah and Brandon enjoying themselves.

Sean also had some biology lesson with Ah Kong.

Where else on earth can you get comfortable accomodation, 3 fantastic meals a day, same-day laundry, unlimited amounts of cookies, milo/horlicks/tea/coffee, lots of space for playing, reading, running around etc.... all for just RM85 per person per day. Yup....it's that dirt-cheap! Senior citizens and full-time christian workers pay merely RM60. Now you see why I want to go back there?

early birthday celebration

Joe will be 2 years old in a few more days. We were up in Penang last weekend and Joseph's generous Ah Chor offered to sponsor a cake for him. So we had an early celebration in Penang. A friend recommended this cake shop in Pulau Tikus called Jenni's.

We took a drive there to check it out and order Joe's cake. I was overwhelmed by the selection and almost drooling with indecision. Everything looked so good. So after mulling over the various flavours, we finally decided on a square-shaped 1.5kg chocolate brownie cake. It costs RM63.

At home, Joseph was so happy with his cake.

We sang the happy birthday song for him and he happily clapped along while shaking his head right to left, left to right, right to left...

Then he blew out the candles.

And he started to cut his cake.
Then he started to taste his cake. First he put a little bit into his mouth and very cautiously tasted it. After that, there was no stopping him. He continued to dig the plastic knife into the cake and then put it into his mouth. And as he did it, he said, "nice. yummy" without anybody prompting him. He even said, "Thank you Ah Chor". Then he continued eating and saying nice and yummy. When he was finally done, he had cake all over his mouth, cheeks, on his nose, on his shirt, both hands, the table, the floor, cushion...just about everywhere. But he thoroughly enjoyed himself and we enjoyed watching him. The RM63 was worth every sen.

Being the good and thoughtful boy that he is, he shared his cake and fed mummy some, careful not to make a mess and make mummy look like a clown.

time well spent

I've just started at my new job after a 3-week break (which coincided with my miscarriage and thus I didn't need medical leave nor were any patient appointments disrupted). Spending 3 weeks at home with Joseph was absolute bliss. I took him to a few malls (which are actually very educational trips), got him toilet-trained, had a trial session at Tumble Tots, went to Bukit Tinggi for day trip, spent a weekend in Yong Peng. But most of all, I think it was fun just tumbling around on the bed with him and reading to him.

Right now, Joe's favourite book is "The house that Jack built". He will say "house jack built" and point to the bookshelf where we keep the book. Then he takes the book, sits on my lap and says, "mama read for you". So we read together...

me : This is the...

joe : house

me : this is the malt

joe : mop floor (I think he's confused malt with mop)

me : this is the...

joe : rat

me : the rat ate the malt

joe : no more malt

me : this is the...

joe : cat

me : the cat ate the rat

joe : no more rat. rat inside stomach.

me : this is the...

joe : dog

me : the dog worried the cat

joe : no more cat. (I laugh...)

me : this is the...

joe : cow. mooooooo....

me : the cow tossed the dog.

joe : dog fly.

and so on and on.....

Reading to him can be so entertaining. And he enjoys it even after we've read the same thing again and again and again.

Yesterday I told him that I had to go back to work. Joe whined and said, "I dowan". Then he said, "mama dowan". When I finally got home from work, he put his arms around me and said, "hug mama". Sigh....my heart just melted.

This morning, my mum took him to the playground as I went to work. When he got out of the lift at ground floor, I waved and said, "bye bye darling". And he waved back and said, "bye bye darling. bye bye mama."

I wish I could just stay home with him all the time and not have to work. When I tell this to friends and relatives, I often get the feedback that it's such a waste to have studied so hard and so much and not work. But....what's the real waste? To not work or to miss out on Joseph's childhood?

Dentistry evolves so fast. What I learnt in dental school several years ago is now obsolete. Technology is always changing. I figure that even if I quit for a few years, I can always relearn the skill I need. The basics are actually kinda like swimming and driving. You never really forget even if you've not done it for years.

But if I have missed these cutest and most memorable years of Joseph's childhood, I will never be able to regain them. He will grow up. And as he grows up, he will become more and more independent. The apron strings will loosen and one day be cut. I do not want to regret not having been there for him when he needed me most. That would be the real waste.

Diapers no more

It's been 2 weeks since we got Joseph toilet-trained. He started 1 day after he turned 23 months old. I feel so liberated! No more diapers to carry around. Instead I have to bring extra pants...just in case. But he's been very good. He only had 1 accident per day on the first 2 days. After that, he was very good and always said "shee shee" when he wanted to pee. The only troublesome thing was that he would always want to drive his little car to the toilet.

He's even been sleeping without diapers. For afternoon naps, he sometimes wakes up to pee and then goes back to sleep. At night, he also refuses to wear diapers. He says, "big boy cannot wear diaper". So I have to wait till he falls asleep and then put the diaper on for him.

This morning however, he woke up with the diaper completely dry. Of course I'm thrilled.

It's great to be able to bring him out without diapers. So far, we've been to Midvalley, 1-Utama and even a day out at Bukit Tinggi yesterday, all without diapers.

This is Joe getting a fright when the rabbit made a dash for him at the Rabbit Farm in Bukit Tinggi. It was a pretty educational trip for Joe. He checked out the rabbits and also donkeys. And when he saw donkey poo on the ground, he said, "donkey pang sai. chau chau".

I also showed him the mimosa pudina - the grass that closes when you touch it. Joe was quite fascinated.

I'm just so proud of my darling little toddler (who right now smells very salty because he hasn't bathed for 2 days due to his slight cold) and how much he has achieved.

a blink, a heartbeat, a life we call Sam

Sometime between the late night hours of Sunday 11th March 2007 and 8am on 12th March, Sam's heart stopped beating. We know he has gone to be with Jesus. And though we are saddened, we are comforted knowing that God in His great mercy has allowed this to happen to spare us from greater heartaches.

On Saturday 10th February 2007, we saw a very faint 2nd pink line on the home urine pregnancy test. A blood test later confirmed pregnancy. We were naturally delighted to be expecting a 2nd child. Things were great. I had absolutely no morning sickness and hardly any symptoms apart from the perpetual hunger and fatigue.

Exactly a month later on 10th March 2007, I experienced some very light spotting. The next evening, the spotting increased. We went to the A&E at University Hospital (UH) where a scan showed a tiny fetus with a heartbeat. However, the fetus was small for date. I saw the blinking spot and felt assured.

The next morning I noticed the bleeding had become thicker and darker. It wasn’t yet 7am and my mum had just gone back to Penang the night before. I called Sook Vui (my 8th floor neighbour and doctor friend) and she took me to UH while Edwin stayed home with Joseph who was still sleeping. At UH, another scan was done. This time, there was no fetal heartbeat. But the doctor wasn’t absolutely sure so we were told to wait 2 weeks to go back for another scan.

That evening, we decided to see Prof Raman, a well-known fetal medicine specialist. He did a scan and immediately saw that there was no fetal heartbeat. What was left was a crumpled sac around the small fetus. He also explained that it was most likely that the fetus had some abnormality whether structural or genetic. A D&C was scheduled for early the next morning.

At 7am on Tuesday 13th March 2007, I admitted myself to the DayCare Unit of Pantai Medical Center. The entire procedure was very pleasant compared to my experience at HKL 2 years ago. By 11am I was home. It was a very painless experience.

I never thought I would have a miscarriage. It’s one of those things that you often hear happens to this friend and that friend of a friend.

Sam was a mere 9.8mm long. But he (we don’t really know if Sam is a he or she) was a life. We have decided to give this life a name – Sam, short for either Samuel or the female version of Samantha. Samuel means “God hears”. God heard our prayers for a 2nd child. But God also heard our prayers for a happy healthy normal child. I guess He knows us and He knows just how much we can handle. So we give Sam back to God knowing and trusting full well that His plans are perfect and His timing is perfect. He knows just what’s best for us. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Joe loves me

Yesterday Joseph was in a particularly good mood. At nap time, he hugged me and said "I love you mama!" several times. Not once but a few times! Ahh...."I love you mama!" I was swooning with delight. It's certainly worth all the sleepless nights, stretch marks and whatever 'inconveniences' that comes with motherhood. Just hearing him say those 4 words and having him hug me makes me happier than any amount of flowers or diamonds could.

Baby on the way...

Joseph is learning to be a kor kor.

Some months ago, our conversation went like this :

me : Joe, um bong bong..do what?

Joe : make mei mei.

me : Who make mei mei?

Joe : mama papa make mei mei.

me : Joe do what?

Joe : sleep!

Recently, the conversation has changed to this :

me : Joe, are you a big boy or baby?

Joe : big boy.

me : Baby where?

Joe : Baby in stomach.

me : Who's stomach?

Joe : Baby in mama stomach.

Joe has started to 'sayang' this baby doll that we have.

He will carry the baby around, put the baby on his car and drive the baby around. When he drops the baby, he will cry! I'm not quite sure if he understands all this talk about baby. But I do hope that he will be a loving sharing caring kor kor when the time comes.

Happy 60th Birthday Nana

Joseph says :

Nana is my maternal grandmother. She turned 60 years old on 2nd March. In my opinion, she is the strongest, most healthy, most active, most capable 60-yr-old grandmother on earth. She doesn't look her age. In fact, most times, she doesn't even behave her age.

She hardly sleeps. I've no idea how she gets thru the day. Everyday, she wakes up at 5.30am to read the Bible and pray. She cooks my meals, takes me to the playground, climbs up and down with me and doesn't show any sign of being tired...ever!

We went to Avanti American Italian Ristorante for a Sunday buffet brunch to celebrate her birthday. The food was fantastic. Absolute sinful gluttony! And we even had this bunch of singing chefs to serenade us.

This is my Ah Ku and me having a conversation over the delicious food with the chefs singing behind.

After I got restless, Ah Ku took me to wander all around the restaurant. We made faces at this mirror.

Then after mummy had chased me so much with the camera, I finally decided to give her my million-dollar smile.

gong xi gong xi

It's been a wonderful week in Seremban for chinese new year. We travelled here on Thursday, stopping by Nilai to pick up an outfit Reuben bought for Joseph.

He also got a matching outfit for himself. After dressing Joe in the cute outfit, he took Joe for a walk around his office to show off to his colleagues.

In Seremban, Joe enjoyed himself playing with his cousins. This time, being older he could play better and could even say "Daniel". Daniel is now his favourite cousin. In fact, the look like brothers. They had a splashing time, going to the club to swim EVERYDAY! Joe surprised me by daring to go on the poolslide. He loved climbing up one step and jumping into his father's arms, making a big splash in the process.

On Sunday (first day of CNY), we dressed him up to go to church. He certainly was very attention-grabbing. It was quite hot outside but he obediently obliged me by staying in his outfit and looking cute.

We waited till Monday night to toss yee sang when Joyce, David and Brandon came back.

Here's Joe thinking of what to do with his ang pow money....

I think I'll save up for that Lightning McQueen bedsheet my mother has been eyeing for my new bed.

bumps and cars

Joe rolled off the bed one night and bumped his head. I had to take a photo of his blue-black. Check out his mug shot.
It was blue-black for several days. Poor kid.


Last Sunday, I saw him happily playing with his bunch of toy cars. What I saw made me run for the camera.

Joe had arranged his cars according to the colours, and in the correct orientation. My mother put one car in the wrong direction. And Joe said, "Turn!" So smart kid!