Diapers no more

It's been 2 weeks since we got Joseph toilet-trained. He started 1 day after he turned 23 months old. I feel so liberated! No more diapers to carry around. Instead I have to bring extra pants...just in case. But he's been very good. He only had 1 accident per day on the first 2 days. After that, he was very good and always said "shee shee" when he wanted to pee. The only troublesome thing was that he would always want to drive his little car to the toilet.

He's even been sleeping without diapers. For afternoon naps, he sometimes wakes up to pee and then goes back to sleep. At night, he also refuses to wear diapers. He says, "big boy cannot wear diaper". So I have to wait till he falls asleep and then put the diaper on for him.

This morning however, he woke up with the diaper completely dry. Of course I'm thrilled.

It's great to be able to bring him out without diapers. So far, we've been to Midvalley, 1-Utama and even a day out at Bukit Tinggi yesterday, all without diapers.

This is Joe getting a fright when the rabbit made a dash for him at the Rabbit Farm in Bukit Tinggi. It was a pretty educational trip for Joe. He checked out the rabbits and also donkeys. And when he saw donkey poo on the ground, he said, "donkey pang sai. chau chau".

I also showed him the mimosa pudina - the grass that closes when you touch it. Joe was quite fascinated.

I'm just so proud of my darling little toddler (who right now smells very salty because he hasn't bathed for 2 days due to his slight cold) and how much he has achieved.

a blink, a heartbeat, a life we call Sam

Sometime between the late night hours of Sunday 11th March 2007 and 8am on 12th March, Sam's heart stopped beating. We know he has gone to be with Jesus. And though we are saddened, we are comforted knowing that God in His great mercy has allowed this to happen to spare us from greater heartaches.

On Saturday 10th February 2007, we saw a very faint 2nd pink line on the home urine pregnancy test. A blood test later confirmed pregnancy. We were naturally delighted to be expecting a 2nd child. Things were great. I had absolutely no morning sickness and hardly any symptoms apart from the perpetual hunger and fatigue.

Exactly a month later on 10th March 2007, I experienced some very light spotting. The next evening, the spotting increased. We went to the A&E at University Hospital (UH) where a scan showed a tiny fetus with a heartbeat. However, the fetus was small for date. I saw the blinking spot and felt assured.

The next morning I noticed the bleeding had become thicker and darker. It wasn’t yet 7am and my mum had just gone back to Penang the night before. I called Sook Vui (my 8th floor neighbour and doctor friend) and she took me to UH while Edwin stayed home with Joseph who was still sleeping. At UH, another scan was done. This time, there was no fetal heartbeat. But the doctor wasn’t absolutely sure so we were told to wait 2 weeks to go back for another scan.

That evening, we decided to see Prof Raman, a well-known fetal medicine specialist. He did a scan and immediately saw that there was no fetal heartbeat. What was left was a crumpled sac around the small fetus. He also explained that it was most likely that the fetus had some abnormality whether structural or genetic. A D&C was scheduled for early the next morning.

At 7am on Tuesday 13th March 2007, I admitted myself to the DayCare Unit of Pantai Medical Center. The entire procedure was very pleasant compared to my experience at HKL 2 years ago. By 11am I was home. It was a very painless experience.

I never thought I would have a miscarriage. It’s one of those things that you often hear happens to this friend and that friend of a friend.

Sam was a mere 9.8mm long. But he (we don’t really know if Sam is a he or she) was a life. We have decided to give this life a name – Sam, short for either Samuel or the female version of Samantha. Samuel means “God hears”. God heard our prayers for a 2nd child. But God also heard our prayers for a happy healthy normal child. I guess He knows us and He knows just how much we can handle. So we give Sam back to God knowing and trusting full well that His plans are perfect and His timing is perfect. He knows just what’s best for us. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Joe loves me

Yesterday Joseph was in a particularly good mood. At nap time, he hugged me and said "I love you mama!" several times. Not once but a few times! Ahh...."I love you mama!" I was swooning with delight. It's certainly worth all the sleepless nights, stretch marks and whatever 'inconveniences' that comes with motherhood. Just hearing him say those 4 words and having him hug me makes me happier than any amount of flowers or diamonds could.

Baby on the way...

Joseph is learning to be a kor kor.

Some months ago, our conversation went like this :

me : Joe, um bong bong..do what?

Joe : make mei mei.

me : Who make mei mei?

Joe : mama papa make mei mei.

me : Joe do what?

Joe : sleep!

Recently, the conversation has changed to this :

me : Joe, are you a big boy or baby?

Joe : big boy.

me : Baby where?

Joe : Baby in stomach.

me : Who's stomach?

Joe : Baby in mama stomach.

Joe has started to 'sayang' this baby doll that we have.

He will carry the baby around, put the baby on his car and drive the baby around. When he drops the baby, he will cry! I'm not quite sure if he understands all this talk about baby. But I do hope that he will be a loving sharing caring kor kor when the time comes.

Happy 60th Birthday Nana

Joseph says :

Nana is my maternal grandmother. She turned 60 years old on 2nd March. In my opinion, she is the strongest, most healthy, most active, most capable 60-yr-old grandmother on earth. She doesn't look her age. In fact, most times, she doesn't even behave her age.

She hardly sleeps. I've no idea how she gets thru the day. Everyday, she wakes up at 5.30am to read the Bible and pray. She cooks my meals, takes me to the playground, climbs up and down with me and doesn't show any sign of being tired...ever!

We went to Avanti American Italian Ristorante for a Sunday buffet brunch to celebrate her birthday. The food was fantastic. Absolute sinful gluttony! And we even had this bunch of singing chefs to serenade us.

This is my Ah Ku and me having a conversation over the delicious food with the chefs singing behind.

After I got restless, Ah Ku took me to wander all around the restaurant. We made faces at this mirror.

Then after mummy had chased me so much with the camera, I finally decided to give her my million-dollar smile.