I've just started at my new job after a 3-week break (which coincided with my miscarriage and thus I didn't need medical leave nor were any patient appointments disrupted). Spending 3 weeks at home with Joseph was absolute bliss. I took him to a few malls (which are actually very educational trips), got him toilet-trained, had a trial session at Tumble Tots, went to Bukit Tinggi for day trip, spent a weekend in Yong Peng. But most of all, I think it was fun just tumbling around on the bed with him and reading to him.
Right now, Joe's favourite book is "The house that Jack built". He will say "house jack built" and point to the bookshelf where we keep the book. Then he takes the book, sits on my lap and says, "mama read for you". So we read together...
me : This is the...
joe : house
me : this is the malt
joe : mop floor (I think he's confused malt with mop)
me : this is the...
joe : rat
me : the rat ate the malt
joe : no more malt
me : this is the...
joe : cat
me : the cat ate the rat
joe : no more rat. rat inside stomach.
me : this is the...
joe : dog
me : the dog worried the cat
joe : no more cat. (I laugh...)
me : this is the...
joe : cow. mooooooo....
me : the cow tossed the dog.
joe : dog fly.
and so on and on.....
Reading to him can be so entertaining. And he enjoys it even after we've read the same thing again and again and again.
Yesterday I told him that I had to go back to work. Joe whined and said, "I dowan". Then he said, "mama dowan". When I finally got home from work, he put his arms around me and said, "hug mama". Sigh....my heart just melted.
This morning, my mum took him to the playground as I went to work. When he got out of the lift at ground floor, I waved and said, "bye bye darling". And he waved back and said, "bye bye darling. bye bye mama."
I wish I could just stay home with him all the time and not have to work. When I tell this to friends and relatives, I often get the feedback that it's such a waste to have studied so hard and so much and not work. But....what's the real waste? To not work or to miss out on Joseph's childhood?
Dentistry evolves so fast. What I learnt in dental school several years ago is now obsolete. Technology is always changing. I figure that even if I quit for a few years, I can always relearn the skill I need. The basics are actually kinda like swimming and driving. You never really forget even if you've not done it for years.
But if I have missed these cutest and most memorable years of Joseph's childhood, I will never be able to regain them. He will grow up. And as he grows up, he will become more and more independent. The apron strings will loosen and one day be cut. I do not want to regret not having been there for him when he needed me most. That would be the real waste.
Good afternoon Doctor,
ReplyDeleteemmm.. knowing u are changing to a new job... and your feeling about been not able to be with joe all the time.....
agree what u said.. nothing is more important than joe childhood!!..
as your previous post said.. just work part time.. so that .. u could have more time with joe and husband..
dont think so much okay..... go ahead with your new job .. and wishing u happy everyday..
take care..
I've been thinking about that a lot too nowadays...
ReplyDeleteI've gave up my work for Naomi too. Sometimes, I wish to go back to work, really, when I am so tired looking after her, but if hubby really allow me to do so, i don't think I will wanna give up my time with my precious.
ReplyDeleteIt's always a tough decision, in my case, it worth every cents. :)